Welcome to a brief dialogue that we believe will provide a bit of practical advice for your marriage:
Working Together is Important:
From
Anthony
To the Couple: Marital life can feel
like the Olympics. You compete in one event after another. You go from finances
to the kids; from work to duties at home; you are on the clock from morning to
evening with short breaks in between. The domestic side of marital life can
feel like one big completion. However, one way to win in your days and weeks is
to employ the concept and practice of teamwork. It takes both working together
within define roles that will make a tremendous difference in your outcomes.
Practical
Tip for Husband: Husbands pick up your share in the daily load and avoid
the “Dictatorship Complex.” You know, delegating to the wife and children what
seems beneath you? You are in partnership with your wife and sometimes we must
take on a few roles that we think should come from our wives such as laundry,
getting dinner started, checking homework, or cleaning around the home.
Remember it is all about teamwork.
From
Patrice
To
the Couple: The comparison my husband made between marital life and the
Olympics is a really good one. In
Olympic Field events, there are several competitions going on at once. If a
plan is not in place to keep these things organized, the result can be total
chaos. Marital home life is the field where the most important events take
place. Having a structure in place is
necessary, but the flexibility to adjust when unforeseen events take place is
key. It takes the attitude of teamwork
and communication to keep chaos to a minimum.
Practical
Tip for the Wife: Wives, communicate
to your husband the things that would help keep you from becoming overwhelmed
in home life. We have a tendency to take
on so much and expect our husbands to know what we need without saying a word. We allow our needs to go unaddressed and when
we can no longer internalize our concerns, we respond with irrational
emotions. This is not healthy for you,
nor is it fair to your husband. A successful
marriage allows each partner to share in the work of marital life. Communication takes the “guesswork” out of
what it will take to be a winning team.
How
you Handle your Spouse is Key:
From
Anthony
To
the Couple: Another awesome ingredient to winning as a team is
encouragement. Try offering this virtue toward one another. I want you to stop
what you are doing for a few seconds, sit back, and picture a team (any team)
going at one another with harsh criticism, arguing, or distant while competing.
What are their chances at achieving a successful outcome? In marital life we need
to encourage our teammate (spouse) in the roles they have in the
partnership. This builds morale, keeps energy flowing, and helps to keep one
another focused on the objectives.
Practical
Tip for the Husband: Select your words wisely when speaking to your wife.
If there is an area of concern that you want to address begin with encouraging
words. Give her praise for her contributions and celebrate her. Then tenderly
address the area in staying with the objective of the team. There are times
where your wife may deviate from the objective like any player does on a team;
yet remember she wants to win too so help refocus her on the objective in
gently reinforcing both of your roles. My wife will tell the wives the same
thing because we get out of our roles at times as husbands.
From
Patrice:
To
the Couple: Have you ever been told there is good news and bad news
then asked which do you want first?
People commonly want the good news first. In a marriage we would love to hear what makes
us feel good all the time, but this is not realistic. This is why choosing how you use your words
and the tone in which you say them can influence the morale and climate of your
marriage. Your spouse is your closest
connection and your words can have tremendous effects.
Practical
Tips for Wife: Wives, be very
mindful of the tone you use when speaking to your husband. We have a tendency to speak rapidly and
excitedly when our emotions are strong.
When you are communicating an area of concern to your husband, first
build him up by acknowledging his strengths. Doing so creates a calm
environment where your husband can listen with ease. Consider how you want to be approached and
handled when your husband speaks to you. Remember, you and your husband are a
team. He is on your side and would never
intentionally hurt you. Your goal is to win in your marriage, so think before
you speak.
In
Conclusion: We hope and pray that this short dialogue will help to refocus
you both that your marriage is much like teamwork. If you work together,
understand your roles, encourage one another, and most of all keep the Lord
Jesus at the head of your marriage you will experience positive results and
move your marriage in the right direction!
Have a Jesus Christ Day!
From Anthony
and Patrice
